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[23 Oct 2004|12:34am] |
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Now that im a little more sane. I dont know why i'll ever want to remember this but yea. We put Murphy to sleep today around 5:30ish. It was the hardest thing ever. I dont ever want another dog bc i dont want to go through that again. They took us in the operating room and it was so sad she kept running into everything. The vet said since the medicine didnt work it was most liekly a brain tumor. I gave her, her last hot dog ever lol. And then they came in, and shaved the hair off one of her front legs and gave her the shot, it didnt work i sorta wished it did bc then i had to go through it all over again when they did it to her other leg. They put little cute green and blue smiley face face things arouund her legs. That was the longest minute of my life---just listening to her panting and everything, and then i went to scratch her backleg because usually she kicks it out and straightens it out but she didnt. And then the vet said for like 5 times, "shes unconscience, but still alive and her heart rates getting lower." The last thing i saw were her eyes open and they were all red around and her tongue sticking out on the side so the vet covered her eye with her little floppy ear. God that sucked, just knowing she was dying right there in front me me, so i just walked out. Right when they put her on that table i wanted to pick her up and walk out and come home with her and scratch her ears and have her be normal again. i think this is a little morbid, i mean i want to remember my dogs death? When i got home tongiht i walked to the kitchen to go see her. and earlier i coulda swore i heard her collar. It hasnt even kicked in yet that she wont be back ever again. and all i can think about is seeing her fucking eyes and tongue...
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[22 Oct 2004|05:58pm] |
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I miss her soooooo much. Its only been like 30 minutes, but it feels like forever. 12 and 1/2 years is a long time. shes my litle fighter lol. In 3rd grade around this exact time she became paralyzed and we were gonna put her to sleep but like after 2 weeks she started walking again. She wagged her tail for the first time in a few weeks today. I felt so bad for her, she couldnt walk or eat or hardly breath, they said it was probably a brain tumor. She was just laying there and wouldnt straighten out her back leg when i scratched it. She gave me a kiss right before it happened. they had to do a second shot because the first one did nothing to her. i used to think it was dumb when people cried this much over a pet. i miss her, whos going to lay out in the summer with me? im going to miss laying in the kitchen with her, and the jingling her collar made, and her snorting, and her floppy ears that were always messed up. and how she always danced to music. and how she liked hot dogs. she always would wake us up at night with her snoring too. god i miss her at leats she isnt in pain anymore
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[20 Oct 2004|07:31pm] |
Ive been really bitchy lately. Ive just been so tired the last 2 weeks, and feeling shitty.
I was reading a magazine earlier and it talked about how the editor put her cat to sleep whos name was Murphy. and it talked about how it had cancer and wouldnt eat and lost weight and would weez all the time. It was freaky because thats just like my puppy. Fridays gonna blow, its definetly going to be the hardest thing ive had to do so far. this is unfair
i still need to read. damnit
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[14 Oct 2004|12:12am] |
so its like 12:15 and im still up, this is what i get for sleeping in til 10:30 and going to school late. im not tired at all but i am hungry so maybe i'll make my way to the kitchen soon! ummmmmm yea im not tired and in 5 hours and 45 minutes i will be getting up.
anywaysssssss Central called me earlier and i got accepted. 1 step closer to leaving Warren!
i have too much on my mind to sleep. blah. i feel like calling someone, anyone but thatd be too mean i dont want to wake up all of you Sleeping Beauties!
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[11 Oct 2004|04:19pm] |
So the last week has been ok. Started out bad because of my dog. I think it ended pretty good though. Had my last tennis practice EVERRRR on Thursday. REgionals on Friday, well Stacy and me beat Fitz 6-3 6-1. Then definetly lost to Andover, 0-6 1-6!! They had really fast serves, i couldnt even tell if they were in or out. I think i did good though because i returned so many serves and got some points out of them. But i had really good fast serves that day, and my 2nd serve was more like a 1st sometimes! WOOOO Tennis is done with, im bored i should be at practice right now getting aggrevated at myself. This isnt right i dont know what to do with myself anymore!!
Alot of things are working out right now. people are talking to me that i didnt think id talk to again bc i havent even said like 1 word to them in like a year ... I dont want to get too cocky or anything because in a few weeks i might be left with nothing. So yeaaa we'll see :) theres so much other stuff too and im just happy, yayyy.
haha i love listening to my funny voicemails in school. ricky ricardo accents???
Okkkkkk so im bored , sooo i guess i'll go do my newspaper stories
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[04 Oct 2004|09:33pm] |
So this weekend was fun. Saturday involved haunted houses. chinese fire drills. "anna where the hell did you come from?" Anna being left on 26 mile as Jill drove away. Taryn boxing me in the crotch. Talking about shit with Carrie and Anna. Walking through "haunted trails" singing Hocus Pocus songs and getting lost in mazes. And Anna and me being yelled at and going to sleep in the loser corner. Wow Anna, you and me so bonded this weekend!
Not really a good few days. My wittle Murphy isnt doing good. Shes like deteriorating, my poor puppy. This morning she woke me up because she was barking and crying in her sleep. I know shes gonna have to be put to sleep soon, i just dont want to-and my moms been talking as if we are going to realllyy soon. Each week theres something new wrong with her. But anyway i have the worst headach from crying the past few days about everything. Tennis sucked today, i suck. It was my last dual match. no more sports for ashlee foreverrr! oh boy.
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[02 Oct 2004|12:02am] |
Well yesterday was my big 17th birthday! lol It was pretty good--i got alot of balloons and i was scarred i would float away. I love birthdays because its the one day people are actually nice to you. Well I had a match after and lost. Went out to eat and got my presents. but thank you to everyone who was nice to me and wished me a happy bday and everything!!!
Today was just a day. Had a night match and lost--i feel like i ran a marathon bc thats all i did tonight was run. Im going to miss tennis--well just having fun and being dumb, like taking "senior pictures" by the poll or cutting cookies with kaela like a wedding. and having rachel stalk me with all the pictures shes going to have of me.
I hope things start getting better soon, ive been so sad lately. I think its funny, that i always want what i cant have and i try forever to get it and when i finally get whatever i want i get scarred. But i proved alot to myself lately so yea we'll see...
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[28 Sep 2004|08:27pm] |
So we had tennis all day at Dakota for divisions or whatever. So the last 2 times we played Dakota we beat them, well today we played them for the first round, and we had to go into a 3rd set. and we're doing good and winning and then we lost. Of all the times to lose to them, today had to be the day. So i cried because thats just what i do. I wasnt upset that Stac and me lost, i just felt like i let down the team. Ok last year i sucked and we end up winning and getting a nice little gold medal, and this year im actually good and we lost right away. Played Anchor Bay and we beat them. wooo 5th place. I think its really scary when your coach comes out of nowhere and screams in your face "we can win this whole damn thing" in excitment. Then later i find out we came in 2nd and everyone thought we lost by 3 points and i blamed me for losing. But we lost to East Detroit, they had 40 and we had 32. Whatever no picture in the showcase or by the marqee for us bc we got 2nd place.
ok that was boring sorry. it was so cold and windy today. see you all tomorrow! YAYYYY
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[26 Sep 2004|04:43pm] |
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so this weekend was boring. Murphys literally gone crazy, we're probbaly goinna have to put her to sleep soon. It'll be weird. who would have thought nelly and tim mcgraw would do a song together. im being dumb.
ok sorry that whole lj cut thing doesnt work anymore soo yeeaa sorry
who the hell would take a nap with their dog in a kitchen and then take pictures of it..???
i really belong on the cover of National GEographic--
we're so going to hell for this one,...
awwww Blast from the past day!!
wow look at these hot newspaper kids!
I wish my camera didnt break that day because i got stuck only having like 4 pictures...
Ok and finally I saved these 2 because im the biggest asswipe ever--
haha dont be jealous bc i got to hug king louie and got pictures with him and a plastic alein--i have pics with timon and rafiki too but i keep those close to my heart and already have them framed! ok or not
I need to get my digital pictures on here so i'll have more later!!!
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[22 Sep 2004|06:31pm] |
I dont even know about anything anymore, everything was so easy before and now its not. I feel alone--yea it sounds cheesy. Whatever this is dumb because i cant even say anything in here.
My birthdays next Thursday wow i'll be 17 finally.
I have a tennis match everyday next week, even one on my bday so you should all come and show me some birthday love!
I need a brownie batter blizzard to cheer me up.
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[19 Sep 2004|02:23pm] |
So Homecomings done with forever. I didnt even cry so take that Laura and everyone else who made fun of me this week! lol
Friday got to school, Mini Pep Rally was ok--the whole day didnt seem like it was pep rally day. That night went picture crazy, went to Pep Rally and was in the Mystery Event and WE WON! haha we won the tarp thing too. And what kinda shit is it giving the sophomores loudest or whatever? Went to coney then home.
Yesterday was the parade, had fun felt like a celebrity-- annnddd mari and me got interviewed for the school channel so heck yea to that hahaa! Went to the game and got our awards we won Best Overall Float and MOST SPIRITED CLASS!!!! haha yea everyone thought the sophomores had that one coming but not me! i knew that this year our class would end our losing streak. Wellll I got my hair done and i liked it, got pictures and went to the dance. had sooooo much fun i think this was the best hc yet! I had fun dancing and everything even if i cant lol. Went to eat at Waves and that was nasty then to Donnies. Didnt get to sleep til like 5:30 and i woke up like every 10 minutes until 7. Then slept from 7:30-10:30 so yeaaa im tired. i like how i record my sleeping habits
I cant believe that this was our last homecoming and everything, i didnt think about that at all though--i just had fun dancing with everyone! i cant wait for prom now!
i took soooo many pictures--4 disposables, 100 digital on Friday and like 50 yesterday. woo im tired bye!
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[15 Sep 2004|10:25pm] |
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i never wanted to punch 2 girls more than i wanted to punch those 2 cheating girls from Anchor Bay today. If we play them at divisions i'll lose it bc of their cheating---wtf i was crying and shaking and we should of had a line judge long before we got one. Whatever we beat them, and the score would have been better if they didnt serve 3 times in a row from the same spot or not called all our balls out that were in. "You guys need to stop cheating" haha it was funny though when i finally lost it and screamed at them because they are dumb and cheated--ahh divisions should be fun!
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[14 Sep 2004|08:43pm] |
ahhhhh. ahhhh. and ahhhhhhhhh!! I feel like i came out of the ass of a horse, i feel like i was hit in the head numerous times with a baseball bat and i feel like i rolled around in a burning house in detroit. Im still nice and sick with this lovely cold that better be gone in the next 2 days bc i will not carry around a box of tissue lol.
Yesterday was Mismatch Day, i looked hot as did everyone else. Then today was Blast From the Past Day!! ahhh that was crazy, i had my 80s outfit on along with everyone else, last night Taryn Rachel and me went to Value World and bought some clothes, it was so funny, and my SNAKE PIN FREDEREAK! Yea i cant spell his name, but he is my new personal mascot.
Yesterday i dropped my camera and it didnt work and well luckily i broke it like a week before the warranty ended and im getting a new one! woo. oo and i really wanna know why god blessed with this gift of being so emotional and sentimental. I cried today, because it was our last blast from the past day, Marcus mentioned hc at float, i cried.
Had a tennis match yesterday vs Lakeview (won 6-2 6-4). Im missing practice right now as we speak bc im sick and i should be at float but i guess its good im not bc im too bitchy and dramatice right now. wow this was boring
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[12 Sep 2004|11:39am] |
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The last few days have been one continous pomp after another. hmm Wednesday had a match against east detroit-lost that one. Friday had another one against Berkley-lost that one too. Ive been at float alot. Im getting a nice little cold, and im going to guess its because ive been going to bed at 12 and that rainy cold day at float where i was wearing shorts. I dont think i can look at Little Ceasars pizza for a few weeks lol. umm im trying to do that rough draft for english and yea thats not going good because i cant think and plus this is the first homework ive had all year
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[07 Sep 2004|10:48pm] |
My feet and legs hurt soo much.
I dont think i went to one class on time today. Had a meeting 5th hour and we decided on the announcment invitation things for graduation-- this is weird that this is it. I said id be the one with a box of tissue in my arm when i go up there and everything.
After school Taryn and me waited in the back for like an hour to take the actual float trailer to stephs but the hitch thingy was missing so then i was 30 minutes late to practice. Mr.C haha or George was in rare form today, like on thursday it was so easy and he was complimenting us all on our wins, and today it was all "you need to be serious theres a match tmw". Did some stuff then went to float. And now im here.
I really dont know whats wrong with me anymore--and its not anything i can explain to just anyone because then i'll feel dumb. Whatever right??
Late start tmw! yay! Ok im mad i missed Real World
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[05 Sep 2004|12:15am] |
sooo yea--my life has been the same,,really boring--something fun needs to happen.
i went to the Travis Tritt concert tonight with Lisa, Jackie, mari, ash, taryn carrie and jana. It was fun--even though i only knew 1 song lol. I got my hair cut today im so pissed she didnt cut it the way i wanted and now its short and ugly and i was starting to cry when i saw the rest of my ugly hair fall to the ground, i need miracle hair grow stuff. This is probably the extent of my exciting life...
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[30 Aug 2004|07:57pm] |
Well things are getting better, well sorta not really. I think i need to stop being a bitch though and everything will get better.
The weekend was dumb as hell. Watched Sex and The City AGAIN with carrie, we need to get lifes i think. Hung out with Ash S (aka Tiff Tiff) yesterday for the first time in along time. Tennis tounrament was cancelled since it was raining.
Match today at Dakota, we won 6-2! Stacy and me won (4-6 6-4 7-6 *7-4*). The last set we were down 5-2 but we still won, we didnt get done til 7 oops, it took forever but im so happy we won. We're on a roll.
Ok i need to get all this class stuff together and take a shower! byyee
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[27 Aug 2004|05:04pm] |
I like how its the hottest the last and first week of school.
I also like how theres nowhere to walk in school, i was literally pushing people to get to where i wanted. My mom told me theres 116 new kids too, thats crazy. And plus the schools like a sauna. Lunch is crazy because thers sooooo many people, everytime i got up i lost my seat and had to fight with a freshman to regain it lol. The "healthy" snack bar is shitty, im not a fan of that lumpy yogurt so its spicy fries for me now on! I forgot how hungry i get when i have C lunch! and what else is great is that i have no books, thats 0 zip zilch! haha
My day would have been fine if some people werent pricks, seriously how can i go from hearing one thing in 1st hour to being so upset at lunch?? HMMMMM? I just got my dress, i dont even care right now, i dont even want hc to come--i lost any excitment i had...
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[25 Aug 2004|06:17pm] |
So here goes another summer. It was actually really fun! Hmm i did alot of stuff---went to Florida, up north a couple times, and just hanging out with my friends. I went to the beach, a random concert, waterpark, fireworks...pretty much did most of the things on that list LOL. Got closer to some friends, faught with some, made some new ones. I went from being a bitch in the beginning to actually being nice and changing my attitude on ALOT of things. Even though it was really sucky weather it was still fun.
Well hey at least we're seniors. Im just so lazy, i dont want homework, i dont want to wake up at 6, i want to just wear my scrubby clothes all year long. Heres my philosophy on the first few days of school--1st day is fun seeing your classes and everyone again. 2nd day is just ehhh not too bad, and by the 3rd day it feels like the 100th. haha
Well the bbq was pretty boring, i got to leave the meeting since i could recite the whole thing. Taryn and me ran yesterday!! From my house to Westwood, WITHOUT STOPPING!! Then her house to Bunert, then Martin to her house. At least i feel like im getting off my lazy ass. O yea and i ate a Hani for the 1st time ever.
Tennis today at Centerline, and only 1 word can describe that experience---HA! Right when i saw them and there big ruffly 1986 skirts i knew we won. I wasnt gonna be bitchy to them bc it was their 1st match ever and they had no idea what they were doing ---they reminded me of myself a few years ago-- but then when they called that ball out and it was clearly in i wanted to hurt them bc it was sooooo hot and sunny. The one girl didnt shave her legs, i thought maybe she was related to a bear. Anywayssss Stacy and me totally won(6-1 6-1). Team score was 7-1. Heck yes! We arent doing too bad!!
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[24 Aug 2004|11:07am] |
So its the last 2 days of summer--nooooo!! Yesterday had registration, instead of waking up at 6 i woke up at 7 when i was supposed to be there. My classes are pretty easy. English/ Prob and Statistics/ Yearbook/ Crafts/ Newspaper/ Computers. I dont know how im gonna make it this year. haha Came home and got ready for tennis. Um yea we lost, everyone did. Well whatever, they were rich snobs who have trainers. I really wanted to hit one of them in the head with a ball. I say we change one of the 4 C's to Confrontation
Practice sucked this morning, I think im getting worse. Back to school bbq tonight, i dont want to go--its the same thing every fricken year. Then im being forced by Mr.C to go to that sports meeting thingy tonight, which is also the same thing every year.
ok im off to buy markers.........
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